some methods to clear this difficult situation

1. simply bear up, and wait for time to pass... but can I keep patience for a long time? I've fallen into serious depression in only one week.
2. escape. but I might to pay a painful social price in return for getting brief freedom. there would be no place to accept me any more.
3. clear myself, as a final method. actually, I've prepared a loop made of some towels binded. but, I'm hesitating far from actual execution. I don't want to even imagine sorrow storming my family.

I have no way to escape except to live.