Writing in English is just 検索避け

Ah... my temporary retirement is little time left, and the day to return to that workplace will come soon. I don't want to return, I don't want to return, to such a scary environment...
This feeling of mine is clearly odd, even I think. It's similar to my past feeling -- I felt mostly same one at that day when I attempted to jumping down. In a word to say, I still want to escape from that workplace. It's possible that I'll attempt stupid action again.
I'd like to stay or extend my temporary retirement till the day I officially retire the workplace. If I could do so, I would never return there.